Sadism & Gummi Bears.

Gummi bears are freakin' awesome, they're yummy, gummy [no shit] and you get satisfaction from slowly torturing the false life out of some poor defenseless animal... which in fact is not really defenseless in real life.

Note to future self that lamely decides to reminisce on humorous drawings and sarcastic blogs of your past college experiences:

Don't try to attack a bear...it will kill you! Especially since you suck so badly at climbing trees at a frantic speed.

But hell think of it... I'd bet my entire...uhm...hal- no...one of my penguins from my penguin collection, that there is not one person that does not:

(1) Put gummi bears into awkward positions. ['Cause frankly it's just too easy]
(2) Find great humor in biting off the head or lower half of the gummi or
(3) Find it artistic to create a gummi bear orgy or gummi bear murder/killing scene.

Now, not even I have done all of these but I do indeed find it entertaining to just buy a bag of gummi bears then start to slowly and painfully pull them apart. You can stretch them, flatten them, pull them apart, slowly chew them... it's just fun.

I know it is a food product and all but...with all the sadism that is poured into eating gummi bears, you'd think that the animal rights activists would have a field day with it!

"This is just a substitute to replace violence of real animals onto a false look-alike of gummi animals! It is cruel and unusual and stats. show that over 'blah' percent of the population finds sadism and gummi bears to be entertaining!"

I think it's a good thing...it saves real bears from being abused, and stupid people that think attacking a bear is fun. Wait...*forms a balance with hands* lesser stupid people & no gummi bears...or more stupid people with yummy gummies?

Damn.

Next!-->Dorks & Dragons, Breeding Privileges for Nerds?