Save it for Later...

Well… it’s been another 4 months since I last posted something on the blog and you are probably all upset that I have not been updating and I am sorry that your poor sad lives all circle around my blog. However, I guess I am also kind of thrilled that there are people that actually care.

So apparently there are businesses that specialize in freezing people “alive.” You must have heard of this at some point in your life. Now the thing is that they are not really freezing people, they are “vitrificating” people… which basically means they are using an ice-free substance that replaces about 60% of the water in cells with chemical products, it keeps the cells from getting damaged and can be thawed to its original state.

Now why do ordinary people decide they want to be …vitrificated? Well most of them have terminal diseases like cancer and have up and decided to vitrificate themselves and hope that they will be thawed out in the future when cancer has been cured. Thing is… the scientists that are actually freezing the people – saying freezing from now on because vitrificate is too difficult to spell out…takes too much time to make sure I am typing the right letters – they do not even have a method of unfreezing the people. Because they do not just freeze the people… they take out all your blood and other bodily fluids that could be there and save them for later while pumping a preservative chemical throughout your veins.

Ah yeah…good wholesome preservatives that everyone is currently hating in our food will now be pumped through your veins in order to keep your body fit and trim until they have figured out a way to cure cancer and to dethaw you… fan-freakin’-tastic. I personally like my preservatives, boosts the immune system. Not the ones that make a can of tuna last for three years though… that’s just disturbing.

Now, if you want to go out and freeze yourself…that’s cool, don’t give a crap. However, why? You know it says on a website of a certain cryonics business that they do not put off death they reserve life. Which, is kind of a bunch of bullcrap because all these people have terminal diseases that will kill them if they decide not to go frozen or will stay lifeless in a tank until they find the cure to their disease or the method to defrost the people. So you can take the chance and stay 20, random age you can figure out you have cancer, get frozen for… a day because cancer will be cured tomorrow and people finally figure out how defrost you…or you get frozen for another say 50 years your kids are old an’ crippled while you’re still 20 and you get to go party out while celebrating that you got the cure for cancer.

And it can be a day, it could be 20 years it could be 50 years it could be another 200 years until people figure out how to cure cancer and defrost you… but don’t worry, your kids may be all dead and have great, great, great grand kids themselves, the end of the world is here… that or utopia finally perfected itself *cough*bullshit*cough cough*… and you can prance around and finally fulfill your life that you would have had if you hadn’t frozen yourself because of your disease to begin with.

People need to just randomly jump off cliffs at some point…just saying, we need more people jumping off cliffs.

Sorry if this wasn’t very sarcastic as the others… too long since I have done this, I’ll have to get back into the flow of blogging again. It’s a sad day when the Dictator Penguin Master can’t blog right.

Next! --> Piranhas ...The Perfect Pet

Cream Cheese & Your Bagels

Topic has been craved by the Almighty One... aka my sister who started this entire mess. Geez apparently me sarcastically ranting about random subjects such as cream cheese & gummi bears is more entertaining than sarcastically ranting about topics of the world today... interesting.

Anyway, cream cheese.

Cream cheese was discovered in 1755...said to be richer than other cheeses. Which is true. However in 1880 some schmuck decided to take this idea and put a tin foil covering around it hence making it different from the other guy's cream cheese because it was ...covered differently. Philly just failed then.

Interesting how plagirism has been the foundation of the entire American culture... yet we despise it so.

So Philly Cream Cheese came out with one flavor...plain...there was nothing added or subtracted from it! Awesome, but now there's 12 million flavors: Strawberry, Chives & Onion, Jammin' Swirls, Creme Swirls, Pineapple, 1/3 less fat, nonfat, list goes on. But I personally like the untouched original cream cheese, occasionally the strawberry but mainly plain.

What irks me the most is when someone, in this case Real Modern Life, telling me that I can't like the plain one! Why? Is there something wrong with that? No? Then stop bothering me! Sometimes people want to have ordinary days...mine includes ordinary cream cheese.

It's like going to Starschmucks and asking for plain black coffee, they look at you funny and go "Just plain? How 'bout some sugar? Or cream? Milk? Soy? Mocha Java Chip fat infested syrup? No? Oh...well here you go." And they hand you this tiny cup of coffee that isn't even worthy of the cups they serve their lattes and crap in. That's like... coffee discrimination! People should be allowed to order plain ordinary crap [even though black coffee sucks and is disgusting unless 12 lbs. of sugar is dumped into the mixture.]

People are discriminating against the plain stuff...look at the covers of the plain items! Uneventful...

Philly cream chese has nothing but the original boxing...which makes sense since it's original flavoring...but can't you put some lady that looks happy that she's eating plain cream cheese?

RML says, "That would be false advertising because no one is smiling and joyful when they're eating some plain cream cheese."

Shut up! Ruining my point...

Coffee at Starschmucks got the left over scrap styrafoam cup that no one wants!

Yogurt gets a white blotch!

I'm just saying...a country that doesn't believe in discrimination shouldn't discriminate about anything...period.

RML comments, "Yogurt, coffee, & cream cheese are inanimate objects...they don't feel anything."

True but the bacteria inside them are. Stop the discrimination against the bacteria!

Next!-->Save it for Later...

Video Games & Surgeons

Alright so in 2002 there was a study that was taken with 33 surgeons to see how video games impacted their surgical procedures. 18 actually played video games in the past, 9 of those were 3+ hours a week. All the surgeons were required to play 25 min of video games during the time of study... which was from May till August. They all made approximately 37% fewer mistakes, became 27% faster, and were considered to be 43% better surgeons overall.

So surgeons that played video games in the past are preferred because of their increased hand-eye coordination, accuracy, & problem solving skills. Now even the military is doing this because...you know when it comes to shooting people...you kinda want to be accurate.

However...even though this is all fine and dandy...I have one thing to say...

YOU DAMN HYPOCRITES!!

Majority of video games that increase hand-eye coordination, accuracy, & problem skills are either from war games [killin' the Germans and whatnot] or Grand Theft Auto [killin' the hookers and whatnot.] Don't we dislike these games because they give our youth the impression that going out and killing people is a good idea?

How many studies have there been now that video games also cause violence and aggression? Do we really want aggressive & anger prone surgeons performing on patients? Like I really appreciate an aggressive surgeon that will go on a rampage because the nurse looked at him the wrong way while I was going through... I don't know... a heart transplant or something.

And who is the most impressionable of our society? Our kids.

And who becomes our future surgeons? Yeah... apparently our future isn't that important. As if a few I don't know some hundred thousand people actually matter in our society. Do me a favor and go to China with your surgery... I think they will appreciate the population decrease.

And I say that because many games allow you to have unlimited or a certain number of lives or in this case mistakes while going through a procedure. I don't want someone going Operation on me and continuously hitting the buzzer just because he has so many tries. Yeah... "Oh sorry seems I've punctured your stomach and let out all your digestive acids out into your other vital organs...don't worry! I still have 1 life left!"

Great.

But again I totally agree about military personnel being preferred to have played video games more often. We need aggressive people in our military, aggression is good especially if your being shot at, can't go that far with a touchy feely army. Can you imagine the US Marines as peace loving push overs? Yeah Americans won't go that far with it.

"Don't shoot me! We should go through counseling and give hugs, hugs stir good hormones to give love & spread peace around the world man!" ...Bang! *Dies* Bang, bang! *Just because.*

And I'd be more concerned for our kids learning how to control the world through interacting with war games. It's a interesting way to capture a history lesson, but then they know good military techniques, what didn't work in the past, what makes a weak nation, common things too look out for in a revolt and how to practically become a Dictator. Nice. Eventually the Americans are going to be trying to fight the Japanese for world domination. I prophesied it first! You all heard it from me!

This has all been "scientifically proven" of course. Video games have been "scientifically proven" to cause aggression, "scientifically proven" to create better surgeons, "Scientifically proven" to be very impressionable on our youth.

I personally think that the government should make penguins play video games, we need more aggressive penguins. You know... to help them protect themselves better from the evil humans...and whatnot...stuff like that. *Cough* Dictator Penguins Rock *Cough Cough*

Note: I personally believe that video games don't cause violence and it is the environment in which a kid grows up in that will determine if he or she believes that the games are truthful or not. But people tend to blame video games more so than parents because it is the easier solution. And who in their right mind is going to criticize a parent? And their child? *Gag*

Next -->Cream Cheese & Your Bagels

Summer Fails...Jobs are Murder.

'Kay so this is what really irks me about getting a job. You know... Dao applied to 15 jobs over the summer, she got called once for an interview, everyone says they were impressed and that they'd call her since there were only 2 spots and only 2 people had applied.

No phone call.

Dao calls them, "Sorry you don't have the right type of experience we're looking for."

Couldn't say anything during the interview? Couldn't say "Sorry sounds like you don't fit what we're looking for." and certainly couldn't help to say "We are really impressed and we don't see why you shouldn't get the job."...No?

Dao went to a pet store for some experience to enhance the experience she already had. She has a cat, 3 dogs, and has cared for rats, hamsters, snakes and probably something else she can't think of. But not horses... not like you really need experience with horses to work at a pet store that sells dogs and cats only. And of course she didn't get that job 'cause she doesn't have retail experience.

That's another thing that gets to me is when some people want experienced workers... don't want to look after a new person that knows nothing about a cash register. Too much work, too much effort. Well if no one is going to be adventurous and train the newbie persons then there are no longer any experienced workers. Your business fails...sorry, no pity, it's your fault.

We newbies need training too! We are your future after all... of course that must not really matter.

Oh and no one should say "We're always hiring" and then never call anyone. That's just cruel and you deserve to be given millions of paper cuts from all the applications and resumes you should have read through.

Eh...ran out of things to complain about... Sorry for the delay! It's only been 3 months I'm sure my typing text doesn't run your world. Or at least I hope not.

Next!-->Video Games & Surgeons

Dorks & Dragons: Breeding Privileges for Nerds?

Yes I know... weird title but I couldn't help it. Truth be told, I love nerds... and I love geeks... they make the world interesting and... you know... keep spinning.

However, there are some geeks that just... shouldn't breed for the sake of humanity's sanity... totally didn't mean to have word rhyme there. But yeah! The geeks that take Dungeons & Dragons way too seriously...like Larpers, should not breed.

Actually I think they will be too disturbed or freaked out by the actual processes of breeding. And once the process is over and done with by some random form of unknown chemical & psychological magic, they'll be treating their little darling as a Rogue Nightelf on the search for the sword of Azeroth or something like that.

Lv 1 Human...
3 stength: Babies are strong! Especially when they pull hair...and when they cry it's a high pitched frequency that just has to knock you unconscious.
1 defense: Let's face it...they can't do anything to defend themselves but cry
1 magic: Babies are magical, they pop out of no where, they disappear...they somehow manage to always make me laugh even though they're really annoying at the same time.
...0 life: Ah! The thought of it is painful...

Oh and I apologize for this, it's short, it's boring, I had no idea what to write about so...I'm sorry.

Next!-->Summer Fails...Jobs are Murder.

Sadism & Gummi Bears.

Gummi bears are freakin' awesome, they're yummy, gummy [no shit] and you get satisfaction from slowly torturing the false life out of some poor defenseless animal... which in fact is not really defenseless in real life.

Note to future self that lamely decides to reminisce on humorous drawings and sarcastic blogs of your past college experiences:

Don't try to attack a bear...it will kill you! Especially since you suck so badly at climbing trees at a frantic speed.

But hell think of it... I'd bet my entire...uhm...hal- no...one of my penguins from my penguin collection, that there is not one person that does not:

(1) Put gummi bears into awkward positions. ['Cause frankly it's just too easy]
(2) Find great humor in biting off the head or lower half of the gummi or
(3) Find it artistic to create a gummi bear orgy or gummi bear murder/killing scene.

Now, not even I have done all of these but I do indeed find it entertaining to just buy a bag of gummi bears then start to slowly and painfully pull them apart. You can stretch them, flatten them, pull them apart, slowly chew them... it's just fun.

I know it is a food product and all but...with all the sadism that is poured into eating gummi bears, you'd think that the animal rights activists would have a field day with it!

"This is just a substitute to replace violence of real animals onto a false look-alike of gummi animals! It is cruel and unusual and stats. show that over 'blah' percent of the population finds sadism and gummi bears to be entertaining!"

I think it's a good thing...it saves real bears from being abused, and stupid people that think attacking a bear is fun. Wait...*forms a balance with hands* lesser stupid people & no gummi bears...or more stupid people with yummy gummies?

Damn.

Next!-->Dorks & Dragons, Breeding Privileges for Nerds?

College Welfare! Woot!

There should be Welfare for college students... and I mean all college students. I mean... are we not broke? Are we not stereotyped as poor? Sure a good majority of students are paid for by their parents, but what if tuition is all that the parents pay for? What about food? Housing? Books? No? We're not poor enough?

Damn.

Well, it doesn't matter... every single person knows that welfare sucks. Even the people that use it, I mean... if it didn't suck then they wouldn't be getting 52" plasma screen tvs in every room because of the 12 children they have.

I want welfare, I want to be able to buy a new tv, iPod...maybe even an iPhone since it is completely useless when it comes to battery capacity... but it isn't my money so why should I care, right? Hell I'll buy a new desktop computer, flat screen, make it the most videogame compatible computer alive! My own library of videogames...3 shelves that reach from floor to ceiling! I'll own every Mercedes Lackey book ever created...I'll adopt my own penguin. I'll make a kitty farm...or a puppy farm, I'm tied between the two. Maybe I'll open my own penguin farm!

Yeah that's it, my own penguin farm...well it own't really be a farm...more like a secret government training facility to create the ultimate penguin that will do what you say, become the perfect pet, seem to be the most docile creature ever bred...

Of course that is until I later revolt with the new found super penguin army and take over the world! But you all don't know that *evil glare*.

Next!-->Sadism & Gummi Bears.

Die. You. Fucking. Emo. Kids.

I hate emo kids! Hate them! They have destroyed my title forever! Now... high school really sucked for me... Parents divorced during elementary school, moved twice and removed my popularity & friends, I had two friends commit suicide, one I blamed on myself. I had...5 total friends during those blasted 4 years... 5! I could count on one hand how man friends I had... and even then most of those were acquaintances.

Again my life sucked for more than half of it, and I got a title because of it. I was then labeled Emo, it is short for emotional, and it could not describe me any better. But I was labeled emo at the turn of the scene, when many poser emo kids decided to draw fake tears on their cheeks, put blush on to look like they've been crying, do the whole side bang thing to hide one eye, and dress in nothing but black and occasionally the high contrast colors of yellow, white, and pink. Guys decided it was cool to wear tight shirts and pants, wear make-up, and walk around like a preppy girl everywhere...that was what my label had turned into. So whenever someone magically asked me what my label was and I said "Emo" they would look at me as if I was lying!

"You're not emo, just look at you! No side-bang, no black died hair, you aren't emotionally unstable to any point, and you have no piercings and cut marks!"

...Die you fucking poser kids! You ruined my label! I was proud of being emo until you "emotionally hardcore" kids decided to ruin it for me! Yes I am emo...don't agree? Go jump off a cliff! I do have a side-bang it is just not my defining hair movement because of: weather & the ability to see through my leading eye which is the one I cover. My hair is really dark brown...you can see the brown but I like my brown hair and don't think I should infest my brain of chemicals of hair products that will later grow out and I'd have to do it all over again, wasting MY money and my dad's respect in me. And emotionally unstable? Hell yes I am! You can't judge my psychological well-being by just looking at me! You actually have to get to know me and if I'm comfortable with you I will bathe you in my past of hate, depression, anger, rage, and the gitty-ness that very few people know me by. I have piercings, there are two, one in both ear...natural piercings that mothers love to give to their little baby girls...I don't like wearing make-up or jewelry but I will occasionally put some on so to look nice... not as a fashion statement. Oh and cut marks... I should go on a flying rampage of death and kill every poser alive! ...but that's kinda illegal...

Not every emo kid cuts themselves...period. Any poser that cuts themselves to fit with the clique is retarded and doesn't deserve to procreate...no babies for you!

Oh and the emo style of music is just sad...apparently Weezer is considered emo...just...no...it could be to a certain extent...but no. Emo music is now the screamo stuff you hear all the time and you'll hear emo/scene kids talk about how screaming & yelling let out your emotions and people can relate to that.

(1) Go find a pillow...screaming into a pillow cures all desires to yell at people or your emotions.

(2) How can I relate to the song if I have to actually look up the song on some lyrics site...to figure out what the F you're talking about?

(3) Why screamo? Why does it have to be angry at me personally? Why does the singer have to act like it is the listeners fault his girlfriend dumped him?

(4) Oh and who gives a shit? Why should I care to listen to someone complain how their girlfriend dumped him? Get over it...you write a song, you become slightly obsessive and start, you know, stalking people that hate your guts...

Stalking people that hate you isn't cool... ranting about past experiences is not cool, it is annoying, deal with the past it can't be fixed, for Xerxes sake I don't dwell on the past! I'm just emotional because of it! Plus you should all find a hobby, Do you know how many new video games I've played after I stopped dwelling on my past a week after it happened? I have my own mini library! I play with the guys! I made friends!

Eh but fine I'll stop the rant cause...gah frankly this isn't what my blog is all about...

Sorry y'all

Oh and Xerxes is the name of our Mascot! It means ruler so I thought it fit him.

Next!-->College Welfare! Woot!

Sniper Kitties! Mwahahaha!

Sniper Kitties! Ok so here they are again and the next two have been added to the series of kitties in the crevaces of my math notes... This is what I do in my spare time in that class when I've been listening to my Prof. giving examples for the 10th time.

So the evil kitty is the one with the sniper, though I guess it could be any gun you want it to be since it is rarely seen to use a sniper rifle at close range... even I know that and my gun/weaponry IQ is damn near close to retarded... what is that like... I know average is 120 or something... it could even be 100.

I have been notified that my kitties seem to all be similar to me in some fashion. I guess it is true since the emo was is mainly like Dao of DPT, the intelligent one is again intelligent just not smart [also like me], the one getting shot ...I could be cruel and say it's mainly like my hopes and dreams 'cause they are always dying but that would just be lame, the angry one is my evil streak and trust me I have one, and of course I have two other kitties: one that sleeps [mainly my habit of becoming very bored very quickly] and one that just won't shut the Frak up... damn you RML! I hate you with a passion!

I've been notified that Frak is the replacement for Fuck in Battlestar Galactica or something like that...she has been replacing her F'bomb with Frak and it quickly drilled its path into my language memory bank.

Before I end this...don't yell at me for shooting the kitty, it always gets shot, or stabbed, or beaten, or hung...basically anything I can think of...good stress reliever for me to shoot down something. And I don't do this to animals in real life...I love kitties with a burning passion!

Next!-->Die. You. Fucking. Emo. Kids.

Meet the Mascot!

Finally! The Mascot has been found! It was always known that the mascot of the Dictator Penguin Trilogies would be a penguin [duh] but I never thought I would actually find the right penguin to wear the hat.

I thought I would actually have to draw it! Which I guess is cool but...I waste enough of my time doodling sniper kitty cats in the occassionaly gaps and crevaces of my math notes...more on that next blog.

So yeah here is our mascot, we finally found him and he was drawn for me as a present from my roommates... girlfriend. I drew the hat cause...well we can't have the Dictator Penguin without his hat...and it is a he.

Something new! I inverted the colors of my pictures I drew on my whiteboard...it looks cool to me so that's why they're here...and of course my opinion is the only one that matters. The drawings kind of remind me of that trick you do in elementry school where you draw this box with a bunch of smaller boxes filled with pretty colored crayons, then you would color over it with a black crayon only to later scratch off the black with a coin to make a pretty picture...

Yeah kinda like that.

So again, here's the mascot, yay! But he's kinda nameless... What would be an awesome name for the Dictator Penguin?

Next Blog?-->Sniper Kitties! Mwahahaha!

...Emo Kitties have no Friends...

So...I was really bored during Calc II today. And all of a sudden I started drawing random kitties all over my math notes with weird little personalities. Currently you see the emo one and smart one...intelligent not smart (there is a difference). I guess I would put Real Modern Life as the green kitty and Dao would be the blue kitty, maybe I just have an obsession with cats...

But there are more kitties! For instance, I created a black colored kitty that's full of anger, a yellow kitty that just won't shut the F-bomb up, a purple kitty that sleeps constantly, and a red kitty that ...is the personified version of a cat... you know, running into walls because of shiny things. Yay flashlights!

Well...at least I put something up, cause I was bored and there was nothing I could talk about. So if you see the kitties again...I'm truly bored and have nothing to talk about.

Solves that issue.

Calendar St. Patrick's Day...the day of Irish Yoga.

Alright it is not only Belated Pi Day it is also Calendar St. Patrick's Day!

And when I say Calendar St. Patrick's Day I mean that the Pope actually moved St. Patrick's Day to the 15th of March instead of the 17th of March cause the 17th lies in a holy week... you know, that time between Palm Sunday & Good Friday/Easter Sunday. Which is understandable...I frankly do not want a bunch of drunks during a holy week, it's bad enough they do it every other day. But of course no one listens to the Pope and are still getting drunk tonight...

Tradition of St. Patrick's day is that you have to wear green if you don't wear green you get pinched...if you ask me it is the most retarded tradition I know of. But I don't like getting pinched so I still wear green, much like this comic shows. I wear black quite frequently and I own a lot of it...it's very difficult to find anything that has neon green or even a good size spot of green so people will leave me alone. But I find a shirt every time with just a shred of green, and I'll wear my jewelry that also has green, and I will also become one of the lame people that wear the little clover sticker right under their eye and state that they are indeed wearing green.

Best philosophy I know of...at least I'm not claiming to wear green underwear or bra or something cause...you know you'll run into jerks that say "prove it." Yeah...I don't need that.

Happy Belated Pi Day...God I'm such a nerd!

It is freakin' Pi day! Woot! Actually, it is March 17th...I was lazy and enjoying pi day alright? I am actually surprised that I still did this because I was planning on doing it...but naturally I'm lazy and don't want to take a whole 30 min out of my day just to create the pi symbol with the first ....I'm going to guess-timate just under a hundred... of the digits of pi.

Let's see...Albert Einstein was born on this day, and according to RML Nerdfighters was founded on 3.14 as well. For those of you that know nothing of the nerdfighters, it is an ...organization created by brothers Hank & John Green. And they're nerds, go to Youtube type in "nerdfighters" or whatever and you'll find find the Vlogbrothers. It'll explain their ways and what not...it's interesting give it a try.

Can't believe I'm advertising for them...I'll never hear the end of it from Real Modern Life.

...I seriously need a dog...

My favorite picture so far, I love it! It has Dao, Mr. Ravishing and the best description of their relationship.

As stated in previous episodes of the Dictator Penguin Trilogies, Mr. Ravishing is a geek... a computer geek to be more precise. Well every time Dao wanders up to his room, he's playing games or tearing apart one of the ancient hard drives that held 10 MB and fit in your hand...unlike the 1GB memory card that could fit in the palm of your hand. Quite interesting how technology works nowadays.

Anyway, Dao and Mr. Ravishing love hanging out together... or so she thinks... however whenever they do hang out together Mr. Ravishing has ideas such as playing the Wii, playing a game on his computer or watching a movie... on his computer.

I swear...once they create computers that can sign a marriage certificate, he will be one of the millions of geeks to be rushing to wedding chapels all around the world to marry his dear computer. Of course then the newer models come in and they're all just staring in awe at them going "Oh I want! She's just so beautiful...and look at all her marvelous features!" Sadly enough...I can see that happening.

This drawing was brought about by my random need to cuddle with something, and of course RML had brought up Dao's beloved Mr. Ravishing. Naturally I want to cuddle with him because...well let's face it, he's really affectionate. So I'm going to stop that rant right where it is because I don't need to be going off about how amazing Mr. Ravishing is...again...don't think you'll be able to survive my awe-ness with him. I seriously need a dog...a loyal companion that I can call to heel whenever I'm in a mood to snuggle or be snuggled...you know that's probably why I started calling Mr. Ravishing my perrito...because well...he does whatever I say if I ask politely enough.

Final note on the picture... I have to say I'm rather proud of myself... first successful attempt to draw Mr. Ravishing! I personally think that mine is better than RML...but that's mainly because I'm full of myself. I'm also proud that I'm so freaking adorable.

God Damn Coffee Addictions!

Yay coffee! Actually, I can't say that because I don't need caffeine to wake up, I'm an Early Bird! I get morning highs instead. Yay mornings and sunshines!

However, caffeine addictions aren't cool, not only does it turn its host into wired zombies but it scares the freakin' hell out of me. So Real Modern Life has apparently just recently (not too recently actually...more like a couple of weeks ago) discovered that she's addicted to caffeine, she needs a morning high as well!

So...here's a comic with the two of them...and it's with Dao making fun of her addiction, quite humorous really. Oh and by the way, I'm sorry for the massive bubbles!

The Second panel I'll more than likely have to explain at least a little bit, besides RML and Dao, no one seems to know what the heck 1-3-7-trimethyl-2-6-dioxpurine is. Well now you can wow your friends with your intelligence by reciting it over and over again because you see it all the time. Make a logical guess that it is the name of caffeine! Yay! RML told me that one...and sadly enough I'm the one spitting it out more often than she is, she's the Chemistry major!

I love Dao, I'm so adorable sometimes, but not to sound selfish I love how I continuously get smaller...and smaller...and smaller...until I'm just randomly hiding under a rock. And yes that is a rock!

So now here I am, talking and chatting...drawing out this conversation to make it look like I actually am taking this seriously...you know?! Talking about the comic and whatnot, to tell you the truth I should be writing and introductory paragraph to an English paper...but it's not due until tomorrow at 10am so it can wait. Besides, The Dictator Penguin Trilogies is so much more important than me getting through college.

Oh hey! Yeah I totally spaced and forgot to mention the usage of arms! Yes believe or not my characters actually possess appendages! You know? I can actually make that the connection between the cartoon and the title...'cause...they aren't really arms, more like wings...penguin wings!

So now I'm back to where I started, nothing to talk about, although one of the random 300 thoughts/ second in my head thinks that I should rant on the coffee! Again, I don't need coffee but I do drink it, 'cause frankly some of the flavors of coffee are just...well I can't just say they're good, I mean, Star-shmucks is burnt coffee filled with sugar, syrup and some random cinnamony crap that makes it actually taste decent.

So Star-schmucks is decent, but hell what happened to people getting great coffee at home?! I liked the coffee I made at home...and it was free! Of course that was after I had to pay for filters and coffee beans...but still! I loved the coffee, and it wasn't burnt because of this nice nifty machine doing it for me...just add sugar and cream and viola! A nice tasty cup of coffee that didn't cost me freakin' 5 bucks. Oh and that's another thing...why? Why $5 for a cup of burnt coffee filled with syrup and whipped cream? Must be some expensive styrofoam cups...

Yay again! Only this time for the explosion...I'm slightly pryo but I'm safe I swear. Eh, I must say that RML wanted me to not put "I need that to live!" on the cartoon because...well live basically implies that she has a life, which she doesn't, and neither do I...obviously since I'm talking about a cartoon on my white board.

But look at Dao...yes that is Dao under the rock and yes the styrofoam cup is indeed spontaneously combusting due to the explosive anger of Real Modern Life. And also enjoy all the pretty colors...fire is always pretty, it just has to be.

It's His Fault!

Finally! Eccentric Candy finally appears in the Trilogies...alright so there she is along with Dao, Real Modern Life, and Damn French Whores. I'm sorry that the picture is kind of cut off...apparently my camera decided to be retarded.

Anyway...Here they are in a typical everyday conversation with Dao [and I'm serious when I say everyday.] Well if you're really stupid, then you would never have guessed that Dao is talking about Mr. Ravishing but that's only because you're stupid...period.

Now Damn French Whores and Real Modern Life always tell her to ask him out...well there's one problem, she kinda already has! It's Mr. Ravishing's fault! As if it wasn't blatantly obvious Dao liked him when she constantly wants to be around him, when she gets inside his personal bubble...and allowing him to be in her personal bubble! I mean...Dao's personal bubble space is like...sacred to her! But yes, she's always finding some excuse to get near him, you know: dinner, movie night, video games, Wii night!, and simply getting him to sign up for the same classes as her! He's just...god he's just so dense sometimes.

But she loves it, it's really sad.

Now, Eccentric Candy is typically on the same side as DFW and RML, however she understands that Mr. Ravishing is just difficult and the poor perrito just can't get a hint...plus he's just a geek, and apparently computer geeks have issues with getting girls. Don't know why, I mean...I find them incredibly amazing and wow! Guess that's just because I dig the tall and scrawny, pale guys...typical of computer geeks. (You know...hiding from the sun while playing Counter Strike or Half-Life on their computer.)

OK so...Eccentric Candy really isn't supposed to be crying in a sad way...more like a sensitive way because well...like I said...she's sensitive. Or at least sympathetic!

The Love Triangle

Yay love triangles...eh they're such a pain. Actually had this happen to me but the computer wasn't involved, it was more along the lines of a love chain of close friends and we were all too weird & shy to actually admit that we liked someone...anyway!

Mr. Ravishing...he's just amazing, I can't go a day without admiring him for some random thing he does throughout the day. He always makes me happy...*love sigh*...so! God, these distractions aren't healthy, no wonder RL hates it when I talk about him. Here's Mr. Ravishing, this is the first one he's been in...and he most likely will only be mentioned in the cartoons rather than appearing because quite frankly...I can't draw guys in this cartoon. In fact, Real Life was the one to draw him here...and the computer, though she didn't have to do that. I’m perfectly capable of drawing a bunch of boxes on top of each other.

The love triangle has been here for centuries...as pointed out by RL [basically all the credit of this little drawing is being forwarded to RL...except the name....and she couldn't draw me at all, it was quite pathetic actually.] Man continuously falls in love with his newest discovery/invention of the era. Like...the golden era=animals... [dog domestication maybe?], the industry era=machines, and then there's the technology era=computers. Fun stuff...

Now Mr. Ravishing is known for his infinite span of knowledge for computers so I thought it would be funny for him to be in love with his computer. Dao likes him, but the connection they share is only shown when Ravishing shows Dao all about his computer...it gets really tiring and boring but...somehow she manages to stay interested and actually learns something other than Mr. Ravishing having amazingly cute, puppy-dog eyes.

But! The computer actually loves Dao. Even though men know everything inside and out about computers and women know that...uhm...This is just another reason to keep a man around the house! But computers love women...because we try to be nice to it when we aren't swinging hammers and other random objects at the screen just to get it switched on. So there you go...the love triangle...it kinda works...somehow.

Note: Dao looks like a cat, yes I know...it's an inside joke between Dao and Mr. Ravishing that she actually acts like a cat whenever she's around him. Thus I have added cat ears and a tail...but that's only when she's around Mr. Ravishing!

Note2: For those throwing hissy fits because I said men know everything about computers and women know shit...shut up. I'm basing this cartoon on stereotypes, don’t like it? Then leave or get over it and die. I know there are a lot of computer engineers that are women and I know that they're really freaking smart. They're stereotypes! Don't bother me about it!

Note3: I'm sorry for the glare on the picture...it is kind of difficult to take a picture of a already shiny whiteboard. And it is just as difficult, if not more, to scan a whiteboard into my little printer so...deal with the glares, they aren't going anywhere.

We're Crazy...So What?

Alright...so here's Real Life, Dao and Damn French Whores. Dao is a math freak [god I'm such a nerd] and DW believes that unless her calculator can solve the problem there is no point to higher level math. Note that Dao is in Calculus II while DFW is simply in business math...that's basic high school math for geniuses like Dao [lol...lame].

So...this one is self-explanatory, really, it is...I'm sorry it's not very long alright! It happens! Deal with it! Your life shouldn't revolve around me talking about a cartoon in-depth with extra unneeded fluff!

As stated in the introduction to characters blog "The Beginning" RL looks like a hippy...but she really isn't. She actually has rectangular glasses but they came out lame every time I drew them...so I settled for John Lennon. Maybe I should draw flowers around her next time...you know...just to piss her off.

The Beginning

Yeah...I'm not going to go rant off about myself in the first blog. It's pointless, and if you're lazy enough not to click the button, that sends you to my profile that actually tells you what I like, and actually want to learn more about me...then you shouldn't be here. Click the button; learn more about me if you wish...you know, oh! And be nice.

Anyways, The Dictator Penguin Trilogies [which has nothing to do with penguins or dictators and doesn't come in a trilogy] is a collection of cartoon doodles that I draw on my white board [which dangles outside my dorm room] or simply scribbled in my notebooks, about once a week or so in my spare time when I could be doing something more productive...like studying. *cough* over-rated *cough*. Cool, so the main character is me, Dezi or Dao in the cartoon [Dark Apathetic Overlord, seems to be another common name for me as well], and I deal with casual everyday girl things...typically guys, classes, you know...all that jazz.

Now...The Dictator Penguin Trilogies used to actually be An Awesomely Incrediblicious Day in the Life of Adria (copyright of Emo Cupcake Inc.) Adria is my little sister, I love her dearly and the AAIDITLOA series was our little project with each other for about a year. Well she got busy, I got impatient, and I went off to create the Trilogies out of my own boredom. I would have called it An Awesomely Incrediblicious Day in the Life of Dezi...or Dezra...whatever but I don't like long names, I didn't want to steal anything else from my sister, and The Dictator Penguin Trilogies did just fine for me.

My best friends are in the Trilogies, but we have created different names for our cartoon-ish selves. There is:

"Dao" or "Dark Apathetic Overlord"--> Me! Yay! Now for those new to this, I'm emo, so my character always has this little dark aura around her, signifying her emo-ness. And by the way don't start with this new emo bullshit you see on the news or in High school groups. Not "Hardcore Emotion" just "Emotional"...Meaning I don't cut myself, where all black [though I do wear a lot of it], wear too much mascara or blush so that it looks like I'm crying...NO! I'm just emotional, I have issues and I could never control them when it comes to personal feelings, don't get me mixed up with these wannabe posers that don't even know what the hell they're doing!

"Real Modern Life" --> My best friend...literally. I hang out with her the most and she will most likely be in all my cartoons. She likes chemistry; she's a nerd...just like me. However she is not a hippy, which...it seems I've been drawing her like a hippy lately with the John Lennon glasses and all but she really isn't one. She prefers living in the...40s-60s area.

"Damn French Whores"--> Another friend...DFW...now, how can you explain her? She's an economic, business centered, politically incorrect, cruel but truthful, "don't give a shit about your opinion on me" type...person. She and I are a lot alike... the only difference being I don't like to express my thoughts as outwardly as her.

"Eccentric Candy" --> Another one of my friends that lives in my dorm, she's the sympathetic one, we all love her but sometimes she's just too nice. We're all afraid she might get stepped on...much like me. She likes English [which all I can say is...ew], and she's an art fanatic.

"MR Ravishing"--> The only guy in the entire cartoon. Dao likes him, he likes Dao [or so all Dao's friends say], but neither of them will admit it. He's a computer geek...I really can't explain him any better than that without getting distracted. You'll find out later that it is really difficult for me not to.

So those are the characters, their names might change over time since, you know, I'm nice and try to make other people happy...so when friends want to change their name...more likely they will. You might occasionally see my sister in here, but that's only because I'm trying to put in some of the episodes of An Awesomely Incrediblicious Day in the Life of Adria...but this is my cartoon, not hers, so unless it has me in there than those episodes can go die. I try to make one of these a week...sometimes two, possibly three...but it all depends on how much I feel like delaying my death in English. I ask you to please comment on my bloggy cartoons...and put a subject you'd like to see, because I suffer from writer's block quite frequently...I'll try my best!